How to Build Your Confidence After DivorcePosted by admin on December 20th, 2009

It seems that more people split up than stay together these days, and it’s not easy to deal with divorce, even when you are the instigator.  Even if you are delighted to get divorced there is still a finality about it, the end of an era, and often there is a nagging feeling of guilt. And, at the same time, there are new beginnings, which although they are exciting, can also mean stepping outside your usual comfort zone.

There are many things which will change.  If you have been in a “couple” status for some time, you tend to find that the majority of your friends are couples too, and now you are a “single” person, it can to some be a little uncomfortable to be alone amongst pairs.  There is also the inevitable wondering about what everyone else thinks; will your friends support both of you, or just one of you?  And how do you make new friends?  These are of course minor details when compared to dealing with the kids, be they toddlers or adults, and creating a new home environment.

And then there are added issues if you didn’t want to get divorced in the first place, and are still in love with your ex.  Then you have to find a way in which to step back from your emotions, so that you can begin to see things from a different angle and begin to move on.  There may be another person involved and that serves to complicate matters, and emotions, even more. 

They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do.  And divorce, quite often, means that a house move is on the cards.  Emotions go through the roof, charging from one end of the scale to another, and all of the time you try to put on a brave face for the kids, friends, and family and for yourself.  You cannot stop questioning why it came to this, and what you did wrong, and what if you had done something differently.  But these questions do not help; it’s done now, you cannot go back.  It’s time to move on, time to find ways in which you can help yourself to build a new life, to gain greater inner strength and wisdom from this whole experience.  “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” as the saying goes.

The first step in coming to terms with almost anything is to accept that this is where you are.  It is important to stop fighting it, and stop questioning, and come to that realization that for whatever peculiar reason, this is where you are meant to be at this very moment in time.  Having done this you start to feel a whole lot better as your energy is no longer being wasted on useless “what ifs”.  Instead you are conserving your energy for use in far better ways.  Negative thoughts always sap energy, making you feel that you are spiraling ever lower into oblivion.  Positive thoughts, on the other hand, give you energy and build you up until you feel invincible.

But first, just to STOP thinking those negative thoughts, you stop that sapping of energy.  If you have trouble stopping these thoughts then at least make time to listen to a hypnosis download.  This will help you to relax your thoughts and calm your body and mind.  It will give you a “mini holiday” from the events which are whizzing around you.  The relaxation associated with hypnosis will also allow you to build up your energy levels, bit by bit, encouraging the belief that you can do this, and you can cope.  You can get a free hypnosis download from my website and try it for yourself.

Hypnosis downloads can further be used to retrain your brain to feel confident once again, and to help you to move on.  They will help you to stop dwelling on the past and instead to focus upon the future with positivity and, dare I say it, excitement.  If you accept that you are where you are because it was meant to be, then you may as well learn and grow and change into the person that perhaps you always wanted to be.

Change happens slowly and gradually, but with the help of hypnosis downloads it is a whole lot quicker and easier.  You can learn to retrain your brain with hypnosis confidence suggestions and visualizations.  You can learn to see things in a new way and enjoy the challenges with which you are faced.   It is important to focus on things which are mood lifting and energy replenishing and hypnosis will help you to do this far more easily than you ever thought possible.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for relationship issues.

http://www.roseannaleaton.com

Technorati Tags: build confidence after divorce, confidence being single, divorce confidence, Hypnosis, hypnosis confidence, hypnosis downloads, positivity

Dating Rules you Must Follow - be Confident!Posted by admin on December 18th, 2009

When your life is going to plan, you feel confident and when you feel confident, you exude a persona that naturally attracts people and makes them want to be around you. No one likes dating a sad sack.

Now, here the main dating rules you should follow if you want to succeed in dating a women…

Always be confident in yourself.

There is no faking confidence, it must be real. And people who have real confidence attract others naturally. People can tell when you are confident with yourself and where you are going with your life.

Confidence can do a lot for a person. If you are not confident, what is causing you to have doubts in your self? Do you think you are a failure, unattractive, stupid?

All of this can be overcome with confidence. Honestly, girls (girls we want to date) don’t care a lot about these things. Of course, if you are really over weight and you have bad teeth and you dress like a hobo, change yourself.

It’s that simple. If you want to be successful with women, you can’t hide behind excuses to fail.

I know a lot of men who aren’t rich and are not good looking who are very successful with women. Because they act like they are good looking and they are rich, they act in ways that make men and women naturally attracted to them.

A happy go lucky guy who smiles a lot will get x10 the amount of attention as a sad sack sitting in the corner no matter how hot or rich he is.

Be happy with yourself, but if there is something holding you back from being a more outgoing person, fix it.

If you have something that bothers you, something like acne or weird mole. You can either realize that it does not bother anyone else or simply fix it. Because if you are self-conscious all the time, you will not act in an attractive way to a woman.

Those people that do fix their “flaws” notice a big difference, but not in their physical appearance…in their confidence level.

Technorati Tags: Dating, Dating Advice, Dating Tips, Free, Internet Dating, Internet Personals, Love, Man, Men, Online Dating, Online Personals, Relationships, Romance, Single, woman, Women

How to Build Self Confidence in TeenagersPosted by admin on December 18th, 2009

Teenagers have a lot to deal with. They have to withstand peer pressure, deal with adult expectations and rejections. It’s natural that sometimes they are confused and discontented. This causes low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence, which in turn causes depression, unhappiness, and insecurity among teenagers.

Help him feel confident, even while emphasising the importance of good manners and healthy values.

Symptoms of a troubled teen:

* Performing badly in school, lack of concentration, and forgetfulness * Remaining aloof, keeping away from friends and activities * Feeling sad and hopeless * Prone to quick bouts of anger and rage, or reacting strongly to criticism * Being indecisive, restless, and agitated * Changes in eating and sleeping patterns * Substance abuse * Having problems with authority

Take charge before the symptoms become too severe.

What to tell your teenager : 1.

Face your fears. Once you face them, you will feel that they aren’t as bad as you thought they were. Facing your fears will increase your confidence. 2.

Forget past failures. Don’t assume that just because you failed before, things will go wrong again. Look on your failures as stepping stones. 3.

Reward yourself when you have achieved something. Self-help is always the best help. Learn to rely on yourself. 4.

Talk to others. Don’t come to hasty conclusions about a situation or a person. If you have any doubts or questions, clarify. Don’t assume things. 5.

Don’t let failure defeat you. Accept it. Try something else. Everyone fails at some point in life.

AS PARENTS : o Help your child to make new friends. o Motivate your child to participate in sports. o Encourage him to acquire new hobbies. o Encourage him to keep a private journal. It will help him deal with his fears. o Encourage him to do volunteer work. Help him get a realistic view of the world.

Provide him with strong family support. 1.

If he comes to you with his problems, help him make the best of what he has. 2.

Remember to mention his positive points and encourage every small accomplishment. 3.

It is all right to exert a little pressure or promise of rewards to induce your child to perform. But, too much pressure can lead to rebelliousness or fear of failure. 4.

It is better to accept your teenager for what he is. Be realistic in your expectations. Never focus on his weaknesses. 5.

Finally, help him to get up on his feet again when or if he fails.

Show unconditional love towards your child. Let him feel cared for and wanted. Keep working at it continuously. All you need is a different approach

Technorati Tags: confident, Depression, Expectations, Peer Pressure, Self Confidence, Teenagers, Troubled Teen

How to Find Total Self Confidence and Social SuccessPosted by admin on December 17th, 2009

How does all of this sound to you:

Of course, NO ONE can be perfect (except Jesus!).  But EVERYONE can make the effort to be as good a person as they can be.  And being a confident person who believes in himself and DOES NOT beat himself around, even when he makes mistakes, is a very good thing.

So how do you get there?  Well, like I’ve said, not beating yourself up, no matter what you’ve done in the past, is the first and most important step.  Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s OK.  Hey, I’ve made a LOT of big mistakes, and I’m doing great.  We all can survive our past, if we only give ourselves the chance.

You should also realise that you have talents and abilities NO ONE ELSE has.  That makes you pretty special!  There is only one of you, so learn to love yourself, without becoming arrogant.  No matter what anyone tells you, quality women do not appreciate arrogance.

What you should do next is learn what real confidence and “inner game” are all about.  They’re some of the things described above, and if those sound good to you, you should do everything you can to reach them.

Now, there are all kinds of ways to find confidence: books, seminars, self-help tapes, and just the very Internet you’re on now.  But for my money, I recommend the resources put out by a guy I trust, who has very good advice on inner game and other topics, such as being the “alpha” male, approaching women, and more.

His name?  Carlos Xuma.

His “Ultimate Inner Game” package is solid.  It teaches some fantastic things about, among other things:

More than anything, it’s about finding confidence so you can be SELF ASSURED around women.  Because hey, looks and money only go so far.  The guys who find true success and long-lasting love, are those who believe in themselves.  Prove me wrong!

Anyway, nothing I say is going to convince you, so I really think you need to go look at the program for yourself.  Even if you are doing “okay” with women.So if you really are serious about being more confident around women and feeling good about yourself, take the next step.  If you’re not, all good.  Hopefully you’ve learned something and gotten some ideas from this article.

Learn more about getting your dream girl right now.

To your dating and inner game success!

Technorati Tags: Advice Dating, Advice Relationships, Be Confident Around Women, Become Confident With Women, Get The Girl, How To Approach Women, How To Attract Women Courses, How To Find Love, How To Seduce Women, Review Inner Game, Tao Of Dating, Ultimate Inner Game Review

How To Build Self Confidence in FriendshipsPosted by admin on December 17th, 2009

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you recently met someone new and felt like you could have a lasting friendship with that person? The trouble is, you’re not sure if the other person feels the same way.
As with all relationships, sometimes you just hit it off right away with new friends, and other times it takes a bit more cultivation.
Perhaps the other person is shy or feeling a bit awkward, just as you are. But sometimes doubts and worries get in the way, undermining our confidence. Is there any way around this?
The good news is that usually your instincts are correct. If you feel there is an opportunity for a friendship, the other person usually does also.
Those little things that pick at your confidence could be a number of things. In a new friendship in particular, for example, you don’t want to offend the other person, so you may find yourself treading carefully.
This can feel like you have no confidence, when in reality, you’re simply testing the waters as you get to know the other person.
Social issues can get in the way as well. If you’re self conscious about social interactions, even when they’re one-on-one, you may find yourself having difficulty knowing what to say and how to act. This usually is related to a lack of self confidence or an excess of self-consciousness.
What you should know is that many people share these feelings. Just as you are worried about what to say, the other person may very well be feeling the same way. And even if this is not the case, everyone, at some point or another, has been in a situation where they felt awkward. It’s likely that the other person will be empathetic, particularly if you’re upfront and honest about your insecurities.
Simply saying that, while you’re a great friend, you find it hard to form new friendships, will often be enough. Yes, this puts you on the line a little bit, but think of it this way. If the other person is unkind in his or her reaction, this probably isn’t the type of person you’ll want to form a friendship with anyway.
Developing new friendships does require you to be vulnerable to some extent. Obviously, this increases the longer and better you get to know someone. But even in the early stages of a friendship, if you don’t open up a little, your chances of developing a meaningful relationship diminishes.
All relationships require a bit of give and take, and friendships are no different. You don’t need to expose your deepest, darkest secrets right away, but do give the other person some clues as to who you are, your interests, and feelings. This also makes it safe for the other person to do so as well.
Is it possible to get better at developing relationships? Sure! All it takes is a bit of practice. Yes, this can be a bit scary and intimidating, but the more often you reach out to others, the more likely you are to find people with similar interests.
Also, the more you practice developing new friendships, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to meet and relate to new people.
If you’re stuck on things to say or how to go about it, consider looking into some books devoted to conversational starters and social interactions. Some of the tips are useful and provide a good starting point. Also consider taking classes or taking part in a favorite activity with a group.
This is a great way to meet people with similar interests, and this makes it much easier to start a dialogue, as you already have something to talk about.

Technorati Tags: Children, College, Earlyplanet, Education, Scholarship, School, Self Confidence, Tradeplanets, Training

How To Build Self Confidence In GirlsPosted by admin on December 16th, 2009

Numerous studies show that girls’ self-esteem and self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls enter puberty.
Is there any way to promote and increase self esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes, there are things that can be done. Some of them you already know, but a few reminders can’t hurt.
Limit Television Viewing
Yes, we’ve all heard it before, and it’s easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers.
Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle.
While we can’t blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children’s self esteem and confidence. Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life.
Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn’t have the right things. As children age, the “things” can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.
Provide Positive Role Models
As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it “sideways” show girls that it’s not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings.
Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence. Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse.
Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.
Encourage Learning and Education
Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It’s also important to encourage learning in math and science.
While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas. Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology.
Of course, this isn’t to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.
Try New Things and Discover their Talents
Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection.
On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.
Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.

Technorati Tags: Children, College, Earlyplanet, Education, Scholarship, School, Self Confidence, Tradeplanets, Training

Confidence: an Inner Beauty That Leads to True Attraction…and to Success!Posted by admin on December 16th, 2009

The laws of attraction that are a common part of the lives of dating singles have a surprising similarity to the laws that help define success. Imagine the single dating scene, even if it is  the distant past for you. What sorts of things did you find attractive in a person? Was it just physical features? Most certainly, it was not. You might find physical beauty appealing but there is usually more involved when it comes to true attraction.

Have you ever known a woman who seemed to have a penchant for dating losers? Have you ever known a man who similarly dated women that walked all over him? We have probably all known someone who seemed to find themselves in relationships like these. Were all of those people that they dated model-caliber attractive? Most certainly not, so what was the source of attraction?

More likely than not, it was a combination of things. First, someone who has a penchant for bad relationships is usually lacking in self-esteem and feel that who they date is the best they could do at the time. However unhealthy this is, it does explain what happens. Whether you are a man or a woman, if this has happened to you or if it is a common challenge that you face, just know that you could do so much better!

Its not just self-esteem issues that create continual bad relationships. There is also a certain attractive quality that keeps leading a person to the wrong person. This quality is confidence and confidence can be far more intoxicating than physical beauty. Confidence, as evidenced by any bad relationship that it creates, is not a creator of happiness but it definitely creates attraction!

Understanding how confidence can attract other people can work for you in both the world of dating (if it applies to you) and in the world of success. A confident person in a singles bar is bound to attract people who might want to date him/her. A similarly confident person in a business environment might also attract positive things. Examples would include raises, promotions, venture capital, and even clients or customers. What I encourage you to do is to evaluate both your personal and your professional life.

Are you personally confident but lacking in professional confidence? Why not take what works for you in your personal life and apply it to your pursuit of success? The reverse may also be true. Do you feel like you are successful but have a lacking personal life? Confidence is universally attractive!

It is well worth your while to develop confidence in all areas of your life to reach a level of fulfillment that is as well rounded as it is significant. It starts with feeling as if you are on the right track and believing in yourself. Once this is achieved, confidence is just the expression of how you feel inside! You can do this and the results will follow!

Technorati Tags: Attraction, confidence, Self Growth

The Meaning of Being a Woman Continued…Posted by admin on December 15th, 2009

Technorati Tags: confidence, Men And Cars, Red Cars, Sexy, Sporty Cars, Woman And Cars, Women

Books On Building Self-confidence - 5 Tips To Select The BestPosted by admin on December 15th, 2009

2. Reflect on the author
In case you are a regular reader of self-help books, you definitely will have your preferred writer or you may have a general feeling as to which author’s style you like better. However, if you have just been introduced to the wonderful world of self-help books, then you should choose that author who has better standing amongst the reader community. Every book gives you a write-up about the author, and hence you can go through that carefully prior to picking up the book.
3. Request expert assistance
You can also solicit help in selecting the one particular book that can help resolve your issues. In case you are attending counseling sessions, you can seek your therapist’s advice on which is the apt book for you for developing self-confidence. You could be lucky if your therapist authors books but you should ensure that the subject deals with your area of concern.
4. Make an internet search
In order to ensure that you land up with the appropriate book, the web is a great place to conduct research. Numerous websites provide assessments of the various psychology books as well as texts available in print. Alternatively, if you so desire, you can purchase books online. It is very timesaving.
5. Think about the price
Self-help books are available in all price ranges right from ten dollars to around forty dollars a copy. Now the contents of the books would vary widely, but do not deduce that one is better than the other, based on the price.
Now, you are more or less sure which book to purchase, but you do have to remember that perusing these books is no guarantee that your confidence levels will rise. You need to take proper steps to develop it. Moreover, you have to put into practice whatever you have gleaned from the self-help book. Do not rely heavily on this book, since it merely serves as a guide to point you in the right direction. Bear in mind that books are not the key. You are the key to unlock the door to self-confidence.

Technorati Tags: self confidence building book selection tips, self confidence building books, self improvement

5 Barriers to Building Self ConfidencePosted by admin on December 14th, 2009

Confidence is one of the most important traits that you must acquire for success. It is the development of confidence that will help you overcome your fear of public speaking or making presentations. Without confidence, you cannot be as effective as you like.Here are 5 Barriers to developing your self confidence.Barrier #1 Fear

The number one barrier to having an unbeatable confidence is fear. It might be a fear of failure, a fear rejection or even a fear of success. That’s right, you might be afraid of success and all the responsibilities that come because of success.

But most of these fears are imaginary. The only place these fears exist are in your mind. So stop and think about your fears. Are they real or are you afraid of something that hasn’t even happened yet? If it hasn’t happened yet don’t let it stop you from doing the things you need to do. Face your fear head on and take action.Barrier #2 Worry

The next big barrier to a powerful confidence is worry. You might be worried about being perfect, or about what others think or that you might make a mistake. All of these are caused by spending too much time thinking about you. So, stop thinking about you and start thinking about others who need your message. Once you begin to focus on helping others you stop worrying about you.Barrier #3 Procrastination

Procrastination will rob you of your confidence by keeping you from being at your best. Every time you leave something to be done at the last minute, it will never be as good as it could have been. If you are going to be at your best you need to determine your priorities and plan your tasks according to your priorities.Barrier #4 Indecision

The ability to make decisions is a must for building confidence. Indecision in many situations can paralyze you and render you ineffective. You can change this by giving yourself deadlines to make a decision and sticking to it.

Remember you can always change your decision if new information warrants a change, but waiting to make a decision until everything is perfect will immobilize you. The perfect time will never come.Barrier #5 Doubt

Doubt is probably the under lying problem with the other four barriers. Your fear, worry and indecisiveness comes from your doubt in your own abilities. Why should someone believe in you if you don’t?

Acquiring confidence will not be an easy task. It will require patience, work and effort to obtain the confidence needed for your success. But, if you have a strong desire and are willing to make sacrifices you can have an unbeatable confidence.

Technorati Tags: Attitude, confidence, Self Confidence