The Best Ways to Build Self ConfidencePosted by admin on November 28th, 2009

Most of us want to be successful. We want to achieve our goals. But do you know what gets in the way most of the time? Our own lack of confidence is the culprit in most cases. No matter how much we want to move further in our lives we always hesitate and end up going nowhere fast. The good news is there are some ways you can build self confidence and overcome this road block.The Power of Self-TalkIf you’re like most people, your inner voice is sometimes a bit negative. Maybe you want to try for that promotion at work and as you get ready to put your name on the list for consideration that voice in your head says, “Why even bother? You won’t get it.” Or maybe you’ve thought about starting your own business. As soon as you start making plans, the voice inside starts saying, “You don’t have any business experience. Businesses fail all the time. Yours would, too.”The best way to silence the negative self-talk is with positive self-talk. Create affirmations about your own value, such as “I am a reliable and important member of the staff” or “I have the ability to improve my life.” Repeat these throughout the day and any time you hear that negative self-talk in the back of your mind. It’s a good way to build self confidence.Take RisksNo matter how much you want to be successful in life it’s not going to happen if you always play it safe. The biggest opportunities are generally the ones that come with the most risk. Taking that chance is going to be a great way to build self confidence even if it doesn’t go the way you had intended. When we play it safe, we aren’t going to feel good about ourselves. No matter how much we tell ourselves we’re doing the right thing we all know that’s not the case. You have to learn to take risks if you want to achieve your goals and if you want to really feel proud of yourself.Be Aware of Worse Case ScenariosWhen you are feeling nervous and are full of self-doubt, the easy way to overcome those feelings and be more confident so you can take the best steps is to think about what would be the worst thing that could happen. For example, if you’re asked to do a major presentation in your office but you are petrified of speaking in front of a crowd. What is the worst possible outcome that could result? Once you realize that anything that could happen will provide only momentary discomfort you’ll be able to face the “danger” head on.You’re Not AloneOne of the biggest reasons for our lack of self confidence is the feeling that we’re somehow different from everyone else in being nervous or unsure of ourselves. But that’s not the case. Almost everyone at one time or another is feeling the same way you do. Making that realization will help you build self confidence.

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Three Steps to Building Self ConfidencePosted by admin on November 27th, 2009

Building self confidence is actually easier than most gurus might make it out to be. It does take an open mind and a willingness to try new and creative things. Some people call it “outside the box” thinking, but I say “why build a box in the first place?” I am going to give you three simple and fundamental tools to building your self confidence.

1. Know thyself. First, if there is a problem with your attitude or behavior, you must be aware of its source. Be aware of the problem and address it. Many people like to pray or meditate, but it doesn’t take a deep sense of spirituality to understand your own perceptions and desires. I mean, you live with yourself constantly. No one knows you better than you. Confusion only arises when you behave in ways that are contrary to your beliefs and perceptions.

2. If you find yourself lacking confidence, address and change it. Confidence arises from a perception of oneself. Fortunately, perception is one of the easiest things to change. Look at your desk. Now tilt your head. Look at it from all angles. From each angle, you’ll understand a new way to perceive the desk. That is exactly what you need to do with yourself. Behave in new ways, and you’ll find new approaches and angles. With new behaviors come new understandings.

3. It is just as easy to behave one way as it is another. It’s all about choice. You are constantly making choices in your life. If you have taught yourself how to have low self confidence, then start making changes to teach yourself how to have intense self confidence. Find someone who is truly confident and successful and start examining their behaviors. Smile the way they do. Notice their voice inflection. See how they look people directly in the eye as they talk.

Once you take these three simple steps into account, you’ll find your own ways to build your confidence as well. Explore new aspects of yourself. Find new and fun hobbies to occupy your time. Interact with as many people as you can, and learn from them. Rejection is only feedback. Failure is not a judgment on you.

For more details: www.optimindzation.com

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Know How to Build Self ConfidencePosted by admin on November 26th, 2009

Knowing how to build self confidence can prepare you to face the next challenge head on, and can help you reach your goals.It is often not a lack of talent or ability that stops people from reaching their goals. Instead, it is simply a lack of self confidence that holds them back. Instead of allowing this pattern to continue in your own life, learn how to build self confidence.

Do not Talk, Do

Many people who are unsure of their abilities talk about what they want to do, but they take no action to move in that direction. The reason is obvious: they fear failure. The problem is when they talk about it for a while and take no action, it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. They are moving no closer to their goal, so this must mean that they are unable to do it. The truth is, they just have not really tried yet.

Do not talk about what you want to do until you are ready to start moving in that direction.

Do not Let Fear Win

As mentioned above, many people who have not yet learned how to build self confidence allow the fear of failure to stop them from trying. You have got to make a conscience decision not to make choices based on this fear.

Remove it from the equation. When that fear begins to creep in as you are trying to decide whether or not to try something, just say, No. Fear is not part of this decision. It might sound difficult, and the feeling of that fear is not going to go away, but you have to choose not the let the fear be what guides your choices.

Be Prepared

Always be doing what you can to prepare for opportunities that may arise in the future. Staying healthy is a really good example. Eat right, get enough sleep and exercise regularly. You never know when an opportunity may arise and you should try to always be prepared to meet any challenge.

The same is true for goals in your life. For example, if you want to start a business but can not right now, be sure to keep your credit score up and learn all you can from the people around you. Then, when an opportunity presents itself, you will be in the best possible position to go for it.

Accept Failure

There is a saying that goes something like this: Everyone fails except people who do not try. It could be argued, however, that the people who did not try failed by not trying. That would mean everyone fails. If you try something and fail, look at it as a learning opportunity. Figure out what went wrong and develop a strategy to ensure that the same thing will not happen again.

Just because you suffered a failure does not mean you ARE a failure. It just means that you were willing to take a chance. Now get all you can from the experience and move on to the next challenge.

There are no tips on how to build self confidence that will work for everyone. But one thing is sure: If you never try, you can never succeed.

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Top Secrets on How to Be the Most Special Woman in His LifePosted by admin on November 26th, 2009

Variety is the spice of life! This is equally applicable for relationships, which tend to go gray with the monotony of daily life. At times, amidst the daily chores of life we simply forget to pamper the special man in our lives. Sounds surprising, isn’t it? Men also love to be pampered, especially from the best women in their lives.

Gone are the days when men considered women to be mere objects of interest. Nowadays, men admire women having their own share of self-respect and carrying their heads firmly on their shoulders. You should be a woman of substance to be the most special person in his life.

Turning on your man on the very first date by dressing sexy is quite easy, but such a revealing date will hardly survive the test of time. Decking up to allure him is a common aspect most women will think of.

You can make a difference by maintaining the amount of secrecy, good enough to make his imagination run wild. Even though your eyes are like the mirror to your heart, body language has an equally essential role to play when you want to convey your feelings to him.

A simple friendly touch while interacting is enough to make him feel cared for, by you. A confident woman not only wins thousands of hearts but also earns respect from her men, who admire the fact that the woman of today is not a mere dependent appendage.

The appearance of a woman definitely plays its magic. You need to know what will enhance your looks, as applying a lot of make-up does not work for everyone. Your overall appearance should be appealing to him.

You need to bring out your daring side and charming persona, which will help you win cat-whistles from men. To add to his expectations, if you dare to explore the possibilities rarely tried out by other women, then you definitely have his attention.

Most men consider it to be a necessity to maintain the spice and spontaneity in a relationship to keep it lively. Every man wants his woman to be mischievous at times to spice up the relationship, and talking dirty in bed can do this sometimes.

The minute you give them a naughty hint their approach changes and this heightens their feeling of thrill and enthusiasm. Your choice of perfumes determines your ability to attract your man who mostly prefers a feminine aroma. Do not let your sense of humor fade out as most men admire the tinge of wit in a woman who can handle any type of joke with grace. Lastly be confident and be yourself he will love you for who you are.

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Stop negative thinking and build self confidence!Posted by admin on November 26th, 2009

But what happens when our existence is constantly interrupted by negative thought patterns? In most of the cases, people find themselves affected by a lack of confidence, thinking only about the negative aspects of their lives. Positive thinking techniques have taught people to overcome such negative patterns, build self confidence and rediscover their inner power. If you want to stop negative thinking and start gaining self confidence, then perhaps this is the right time to find out more information on the subject.Every day, we are forced to take decisions about different aspects in our lives, whether we are talking about our jobs, relationships or careers in general. Improving self-esteem represents an important issue, especially if you want to climb high the ladder of success and maintain our resistance to stress. Positive thinking techniques are perfect for boosting self confidence, the advice offered teaching us how to be strong and resilient to negative thought patterns. Our mind represents the place where some of the most important decisions are taken, decisions that should never be affected by negative thinking. We have the power to suppress such bad habits, training and setting our subconscious mind for success. Specialized resources teach us everything about improving self-esteem. They show the most popular positive thinking techniques and how to apply them, offering a lot of valuable information for those who show a lack of confidence. One of the first lessons that you will be taught is how to control the way you react to certain events. This does not include only the teaching of positive thinking techniques; you will also receive advice on how to control the way you breathe and even your heart rate, without betraying any visible powerful emotions. On the other hand, you will be taught that both anxiety and stress can be solved if you stop negative thinking, discovering new ways of gaining self confidence.A strong person is able to recognize the achievements cumulated with the passing of time. Never let other people tell you otherwise or you risk suffering from an extreme lack of confidence. You are the only one responsible for negative thought patterns and improving self-esteem is possible, especially if you find strong points in the things that are good in your life. We all have bad and good experiences; the important thing is that we build self confidence and concentrate on the future, on the things that are positive and don’t dwell too much on what might go wrong. Life is too short to let ourselves be affected by negative thought patterns; we should be thankful for having so many resources available to turn to, people sharing their own input on how positive thinking techniques can be used to improve our lives. Don’t deny yourself the right to live a peaceful and positive existence; discover today how negative thought patterns can be disrupted and what are the best ways to escape the lack of self confidence!

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Clothes maketh the man, Make-up maketh the womanPosted by admin on November 25th, 2009

I have recently read an article in a popular women’s magazine by best –selling author Tony Parsons in which he explains why men hate us wearing make-up. Firstly, he sets out the theory that make-up creates a barrier between a man and the woman he loves. When a woman has just got ready to go out she doesn’t want a man messing it up with physical expressions of love. Surely after seventeen years of marriage Mr Parsons can settle for planting a peck on his wife’s cheek and wait until the evening is over for some more intense passion! Surely he would be more proud to go out with a glamorous wife who looks after herself properly rather than with a woman who looks as if she’s been married for seventeen years and has let herself go?

Tony Parsons does concede that women do look beautiful in make-up. He admits it makes us sexier, more glamorous and groomed. He states that make-up exists to make lips more luscious, eyes more striking and skin more youthful but he argues that make-up “robs a face of individuality, character and personality.”  He suggests that a man always falls in love with the face behind the mask not with the stuff we put on it.

A while after my sister had been going out with her boyfriend, he decided that he preferred my glamorous little sister bare-faced and asked her to stop wearing it. She asked my advice and I had no qualms in pointing out that it was her he had chosen from behind the bar she happened to be working in at the time and none of the bare-faced barmaids she worked with! When a man falls in love with a make-up wearer and then decides he likes her better without, this, in my opinion, says more about his insecurities than how she looks with or without make-up. He will have plenty of time to see his naked faced lady in personal times on their own and should be proud that she looks great when they go out, even if she does get “looks” from other men.

Far from robbing a face of individuality, character and personality, make-up can enhance it’s individuality by showing off a person’s best features. Character and personality again can be heightened by make-up – imagine a bubbly, confident woman in red lipstick or a shy, pretty lady in a light, soft pink.

Tony Parsons says he understands that women wear make-up for themselves and not for the man in their life and I’m glad he at least realises that! But he then goes on to say that it doesn’t improve us but “merely satisfies an artificially created insecurity”. He refers to the genius of the cosmetics industry telling us that we don’t look young and pretty enough but I’m sure that most women are pretty good at doing this to themselves. And if make-up makes me feel more confident, younger, prettier and more secure in my looks then so be it.

Mr Parsons does not mention appropriateness. What man would be comfortable going to an important business meeting without his best suit, crisply ironed shirt, smart tie and polished shoes? In this situation he would need such attire, it is appropriate. And in many situations it is appropriate and professional to wear make-up. Make-up is not just to enhance beauty for personal pleasure but is arguably every bit as important a part of a woman’s grooming as shaving is for a man.

In a last ditch attempt to persuade us we’re better without our make-up Tony Parsons says, ”Oh, and it makes you look older too… it does tend to add a hint of Barbara Cartland!” If this warrants a response then I would say that in some situations make-up can be used to make someone look older and more authoritative. A twenty-two year old, newly qualified teacher will be much better armed walking into the classroom on her first day with a face full of well applied make-up rather than turning up looking like a twelve year old. Her make-up will help her deal with both challenging pupils and pushy, older parents!

As far as make-up for personal use is concerned, there are always bad examples that can be pointed to. But as far as the Barbara Cartland example, unless you’re 98 years old as she was when she died in 2000 you’re not going to remind anyone of her in the slightest. Make-up, if applied properly, can make you look prettier, more glamorous, younger, more professional and can hide little imperfections making you more confident to face the world!

If you would like to wear more make-up, but are unsure of which shades to use of how best to apply it, why not get some professional advice and book a make-up lesson with an image consultant.

Technorati Tags: Christmas Presents For Women. Make-up Lessons

Building Self Confidence and Personal Poise- Great Tips to Help YouPosted by admin on November 25th, 2009

Hello there my friend. I want to share with you some great tips that will help you build self confidence and personal poise. I am sure there are times in life when you wish you had that little bit of extra confidence and composure in certain situations. Very often in everyday life the difference between achieving our goals and not is confidence. That is why I am here today to help you by sharing some great tips that I use to help me to be more confident and self assured.

1 Beliefs tell you what’s possible and what’s not possible. You will act according to what you believe, good or bad. For example, if you believe that you will not be able to swim then the chances are that’s exactly what will happen. What if you believed that achieving your goals was within reach and achievable. Make your beliefs consistent with your goals. Wouldn’t it be easier to achieve them? Remember you will act according to your beliefs.

2 Imagination- See yourself being really confident and self assured and achieving your goals. What do you look like, how do you speak, how do others respond to you. Take time out every single day to imagine a more confident and successful you. If it is real in your mind soon it will become an actual reality. You will act it out in real life.

3 There’s only one you- be good to yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. There must have been a time in your life when you did something really confidently or you were calm and self assured. How did it feel? What if you recalled those confident feelings and you applied those feelings to new areas in your life then wouldn’t you feel more confident? Look at yourself in the mirror and see that confident you. Do this regularly.

4 Breathing control- sometimes when you want to feel more confident and assured all you have to do is control your breathing better. A deep, controlled breath helps you relax your body and gain more composure.

5 Control over yourself- very often in difficult situations it is very hard to keep composure and personal poise. However, you can control how you react to situations. Take a step back. You may not be able to change certain events in this world but by taking control over how you react to these events can make a massive difference to your life

My dear friend I sincerely hope that you found the above tips useful and make some improvement in your life. But theres so much more I want to share with you. I am passionate about helping you Building Self Confidence and Personal Poise To fulfil your potential, to be the person you always wanted to be and achieve your dreams then I invite you to the Ultimate Guide in Self Confidence. http://www.selfesteemconfidence.info

You deserve it!

Best wishes to you and your future!

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What Men Find Attractive in Women: 3 Traits Men Look for in a WomanPosted by admin on November 25th, 2009

It’s always interesting to explore what men find attractive in women. Surely, guys could write a hundred books about it. Actually, they already have - not to mention having done hundreds of movies and television shows. However, there is no need to overwhelm the opposite sex.What men find attractive in women is different for every individual. However, here are a few characteristics that are always on top of every man’s list. 1) Just the right amount of confidenceGuys can’t help but be drawn to women with confidence. There’s some sort of sexual magnetic power in a confident woman that no man can ever hope (and wish) to resist! I’m not talking about arrogance here. I’m talking about a woman who knows her worth and isn’t insecure about herself. Confidence shows in the way a woman moves and speaks. 2) A winning smileA winning smile is all it takes to blow a guy’s mind away. Although a lot of people underestimate the power of a great smile, this is actually what men find attractive in women. A great smile conveys openness and warmth that guys are instantly attracted to. 3) Down-to-earth attitudeWhat men find attractive in women is a down-to-earth attitude. Girls who can deal with anything are like a breath of fresh air. While guys understand that girls love to be pampered, they are more appreciative of someone who can hang with them without complaining too much. They don’t want to spend all their time worrying about breaking a woman’s nail or something as trivial as that. All they want is to enjoy the moment. As I’ve mentioned before, what men find attractive in women vary depending on the type of person in question. However, these three above are the basic characteristics that any decent guy would go for.

Technorati Tags: Conversational Hypnosis, Hypnotic Seduction, Seduction Techniques, What Men Find Attractive In Women

What Does a Man Want? - A Great Looking Woman!Posted by admin on November 24th, 2009

Women work hard to get the attention of a man, but often they do not know what to do to get the right attention. While most of the time, image makeovers are more related to work needs, it is also helpful in personal relationships as well.

Some women have a hard time determining how to dress and what image to project when they are trying to meet men, but a Personal Image Consultant can take the guesswork out of the process to give them the results that they want.  Whether you are looking for that man to grow old with or someone to hang out and have fun with, a Certified Image Consultant can help you.

Men are looking for a woman that is put together and confident, and an image consultant can help you to become more confident in yourself.  Nothing is sexier than a confident woman and by doing everything possible to help you gain confidence, you will be able to exude confidence.  Whether it is about your outward appearance, the way you dress, or social etiquette, an image consultant can give you the expert advice that you need to project the image that you want, yet maintaining your own uniqueness and personality.

If you need someone to shop and choose clothes for you for a special event, a business trip or after a successful weight loss programme, a personal shopper can be your valuable resource.  It is often difficult to determine how clothes look upon you when you are shopping alone, but a consultant can give you an unbiased opinion about your clothes choices and preferences to allow you to get clothes that flatter your body well.  Oftentimes, clothing looks much different on the hanger than on the body, so having someone who is there to give you their expertise to help you choose clothes can be empowering. In this way, you may find clothing that you will love and that will give you the best image possible.

When the challenge tends to be more on the relation-building side, an image consultant can provide some important skills in this vein as well. It will, of course, take some time and effort from you, but it can be well worth it when you are able to walk into a room with confidence and self-assurance. It can give you the boost that you need to go out and meet a man that may be the one you have been looking for.

A man wants a woman that is sure of herself and has a positive self-image.  You can become that woman with just a little extra time and effort, along with some coaching from an image consultant.  If you want success in your personal relationship, consider an image makeover. You will be glad you did!

Technorati Tags: Business Image Consultant, Image Consultant, Image Consulting, Personal Grooming, Personal Image, Personal Image Makeover

Speaking Up With ConfidencePosted by admin on November 24th, 2009

Many women speak softly. Yet they often do not realize the power of their voices. We’ve learned over time that our visual image is powerful. Unfortunately, our voice often gets overlooked.
Let’s look at this phenomenon with an example loosely adapted from a real situation experienced by one of my coaching clients.
Sara Lynn Smith is the assistant director for crime prevention in Mid-Town USA. She’s been asked by the local Rotary Club to speak about Crime in Our City. This is a topic she feels passionate about. She prepares her talk by writing it out and developing her speech, going over it and over it in her mind. She types it on note cards, triple-spaced in a large font. Then she studies her Dress for Success books. She selects a conservative navy pants-suit and a crisp white shirt. She wears comfortable well-polished pumps. She puts on a soft shade of red lipstick-not too brassy, and a small amount of blush on her cheeks. She takes her long hair and braids it in a French knot. Looking at herself in the mirror, she smiles. She looks professional and smart.
Walking out the door, she grabs her computer case and her notes and departs for the meeting. After the introductions, she walks up to the podium, she perches her reading glasses on her nose, and looks directly at the audience.
“I’m, uh, so, glad to be here today. Thank you, for, um, inviting me to, um, speak to you. I think this is a topic of great importance to our community. (clears throat). Excuse me. . .but we can do a lot in our community that, err, well, we just haven’t done. I’ve worked for 18 years as the assistant director in the office of crime prevention and, um, well, you see I’ve seen a lot of things. Without the community, I don’t think we will ever, err, at least, I doubt we can ever (laughs) make crime go away.”
Sara Lynn Smith took care of all the preliminaries. She carefully wrote out her speech and put it in a format which would make it easy to refer to. She selected her clothes with a lot of thought, wanting to give the impression of a smart, professional woman. On the surface she did everything right. But if you were in the audience at the Rotary Club, what would you think of Sara Lynn? Would you think she was a confident woman? Do you see a smart, professional woman before you? Are you still listening to her speech?
In all likelihood, you’ve stopped listening to Sara Lynn. Your mind is probably wandering. You will not remember her or her speech. She’s made little impact on you. Why? She forgot to add power to her voice. She left out that one very important component of communication.
The Major Components of Communication
According to research done by Albert Mehrabian at UCLA in the 1960’s, http://www.kaaj.com/psych/ there are three major components of communication: Visual, Vocal, Verbal. He found these three components have weighted percentages. In other words, visual communication gives the message more power than vocal, and vocal gives the message more power than verbal. If you skip or ignore or shortchange one of these components, your message suffers.
By visual communication we mean all the messages you send through the eyes: gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, personal appearance. Dr. Mehrabian found that the power of the visual message is 55%.
By vocal communication we mean all the sounds we make (including silence): um’s, sighs, laughs, chuckles, grunts, groans. Vocal also includes articulation, modulation, pacing. Dr. Mehrabian found that the power of the vocal message is 38%.
By verbal communication we mean the words. The power of the verbal message is a mere 7%.
Think about your last speech. How much time did you spend on the visual? On the vocal? On the verbal? If you are anything like Sara Lynn, you probably spent the majority of your time on the words writing your speech’re-writing it, adding and subtracting content. You may have given a little thought to your appearance and how that might be interpreted. But, like Sara Lynn, you probably ignored your vocal message. You probably left one-third of your message to chance. Most people are like Sara Lynn. Most people forget the power of the vocal message. Adding power to your voice is as important as adding power to your visual and vocal message.
Ten Tips for Adding Credibility to Your Voice
- Avoid nervous laughter. This is typical of women. Listen to your own voice and eliminate unnecessary laughter.
- Don’t end your statements with upward intonation or a question mark. This suggests a lack of confidence in what you are saying. End statements with a period! (Unless, of course, you are tentative about what you are saying).
- Don’t apologize for saying what you think. Say what you want to say and add emphasis to the words that give your statement power. For example: “This idea will fail without a preliminary pilot.” Instead of, “Excuse me, but. . . I believe if we don’t do a preliminary pilot, this idea might fail?”
- When pitching your ideas to the top brass, make every word count. Summarize your core idea and support it succinctly with powerful proof or evidence. The higher the level of the people you are speaking to, the more precious their time. They’ll get bored if you volunteer too many details or start giving a chronology of how you arrived at a point.
- Answer questions without preamble. In other words, when someone asks you a question, make sure the first sentence out of your mouth answers it. Listeners may tune out if you don’t directly address the subject that they raised. And they may doubt your trustworthiness if you evade the issue at hand.
- Say what you want to say, even if you have to interrupt. Women often fear interrupting and therefore never say anything or apologize so much that others have lost interest in what they are about to say. - Avoid qualifiers: “I think or I believe or maybe” messages. When you preface your statements with “I think” when you don’t think but you know, it sounds tentative. If you are unsure, then say you are unsure. Otherwise communicate with confidence.
- Avoid fillers. What are fillers? “ums, ahs, you know.”
- Watch out for sounds that may take away from your message, throat clearing, breathless voice, shaky voice.
- Move your mouth as you speak. If your mouth is not moving, you are either mumbling, talking too fast or speaking too quietly.
Speaking up with confidence takes time, dedication and practice. Most of the tips above are unconscious habits. You do them and do not realize it. To erase these unconscious habits takes dedication. With that kind of dedicated effort, however, you’ll soon notice people listening to you and responding to you with a new-found respect.

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